Are You a Top?

I had a couple of hours before the Survivor Finale and I got a google alert for “lesbian”. I found an interesting website AfterEllen. Essentially the post discusses how the lesbian community assigns gender roles within relationships. For example, butch and femme or the sexual aggressor and the sexually passive or if you prefer The pursued and The pursuer. Why do we do this? Is this really us? Seems silly and dare I say mainstream. My partner and I definitely do not fit these defined categories. I can be a tomboi when I want, and she can be very flirty and coy. I love makeup, sexy slingbacks and anything Pucci. She never wears make up and I can’t remember her ever wearing heels that were not arguably still practical and functional. Our respective roles within our relationship are fluid. There are some that would refer to my partner as a soft-butch and I would be a femme. How boring and rigid! When WE slide into bed or fall into each others arms we look each other in the eye and ask simultaneously, who’s gonna be on top?

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