It has been awhile since I have posted…I have done my share of writing the last several months, but not for pleasure! I completed my first year of graduate school. I thought I would never want to read or write anything ever again! That was a short lived fantasy. There is so much going in the world. Since I started school in the fall, we have elected our first black president, people in California voted YES on Proposition 8 (more on this in a bit), Connecticut, Iowa (yes, Iowa!), Vermont, Maine and New Hampshire have all enacted gay marriage. Massachusetts is celebrating its fifth year anniversary and my wife and I as well (thank you Massachusetts!).
Turns out marriage equality is quite lucrative. Since Massachusetts opened the doors to equality for same-sex couples, the state has realized an influx of money…about $111 million to be exact!
…And there is Proposition 8. Scary thing this proposition. It has been reported that an alarming number of minorities, specifically Blacks and Latinos carried the vote. I naively believe that these groups would be the last to ever deny another minority group their basic rights. How wrong I was. A very interesting study, conducted by Alison Walsh, Justin Lehmiller and Michael Schmitt published in the journal Group Process Intergroup Relations, posits heterosexual identity threat as the driving force behind opposition to same-sex marriage. Heterosexuals believe they hold a preferred status in society (heterosexual privilege…) and any threat to their perceived status, such as offering marriage to everyone, is met with fierce social competition by heterosexuals. The interesting thing is, once one explains all the benefits (and responsibilities) that marriage provides, the opposition concedes the importance of those same benefits and privileges. BUT, they want to call it civil union! It’s not what the marriage provides, but the word MARRIAGE itself that confers the status!
Now, why would Blacks and Latinos go to the polls in record numbers to vote YES on Proposition 8? This really bothered me considering that these two groups have been met with stiff social competition from the White privileged group throughout history. Sadly, the answer is real simple…human nature? Everyone wants to be better than someone else. Despite the civil rights movement, despite electing a Black president, these two groups still are at an extreme disadvantage. The only way in which they can derive a preferred place in society is through their heterosexuality, and hence have erected obstacles blocking the path to marriage for homosexuals. The barrier of choice appears to be religion.
The opposition has so conflated the argument of marriage equality with religion and fear, that the end result has been public policy based on religious arguments. THIS is constitutionally impermissible. I saw a fantastic poster board from the rally Sunday evening in NYC – When Church = State then State= Taliban. Hmmm?
At the end of the day, this fine young man has said it best, he believes he is doing the right thing. His friend’s moms don’t have the legal protections afforded opposite sex couples, and consequently Ethan’s friend is not protected. What a friend young Ethan is; what courage! And, in Colorado no less. I grew up there, and believe me, it is not gay friendly. After all, it is home to Focus on the Family. Ethan cares about his friend’s family. One thing everyone should agree on is protecting children.
Five years later, Massachusetts still stands, life goes on. My wife and I live a quiet life. We mow our lawn, take walks in the evening and nod to all the people we pass who go about their lives in a similar manner. I never thought marriage could make me so happy. I have one question for all of you out there who don’t believe that marriage should be available to everyone. Five years ago, my partner and I said “I do”. Since that time, has your marriage diminished in any way? Are you any less married than you were five years ago because of our marriage?
